ABOUT

CONTENTS

EDITORIAL

ARCHIVE

LAGNIAPPE

MAST

SUBMISSIONS

What is Greenland like?

I dunno.
I've never been there.

I'm not telling a secret about Greenland.
I'm not.

Greenland:

Is there any purpose to going there whatsoever?
It's really accessible. The concept, Greenland.
I don't know why it is that it's really accessible,
but it is.
I don't know why, though.

Greenland:

Named so as a Viking propagandic technique to colonize the
far off and forbidden ice planet of Hoth, location of the
Rebel's secret, hidden, base.

Greenland:

I s'pose it's very dark for half the year,
and very light the other half.

Greenland:

Cluttered with glaciers, gorges, fjords, sharp ridges, and frozen dinosaur bones.
maybe.
probably.
I guess.

Greenland:

The zenith of the antithesis of Disneyland.

Greenland:

It's painted green on almost all political maps.
At least the ones I've seen.

Greenland:

Also on maps it usually gets distorted.
Most map makers figure that it makes more sense to alter the proportions of Greenland, to keep the equator in the middle, rather than altering the proportions of continents like, Europe and North America.They'd rather fuck up how Greenland looks, instead. So on these fucked up maps, they make it look almost as big as half of Africa. It's like a total Eurocentric thing.

Greenland:

I seriously doubt that any of my friends, relatives, acquaintances, or even distant relatives and distant
acquaintances have ever been there. Though I don't know for
sure since the topic of conversation rarely comes up.

This is my Greenland Dream:

My Greenland Dream starts with a map on the wall. Biggness,
like elephants the size of Blue Spruce pine trees, valleys,
and wide gravel bars, that if you ate them, they'd taste like
blue chalk.

Greenland:

The round the clock pendulum frost.

Greenland:

Fate tree branches,
Peninsula tributaries,
Underground ash,
and moon wolf legends.

Greenland:

"It's ruined now" someone from Denmark told me once when I asked about it. They're strong and assertive but almost all of them now, almost always drunk.

Greenland:

Perhaps they need fluorescent lights to keep their winters burning.

Greenland:

It seems sad to think that they might have to walk on polyester carpets now. Especially if those carpets are green.

This is my legend of Greenland:

The hard ground turns soft,
when you see sky star nights with purple curtains
and know that you're alive.

You spin until the vortex consumes you.
Giants.
That's what they are.
Ice people on mountain tops.

What intrigued me as a kid was that I liked the Prince Valiant cartoon. And in the north of Greenland there's this town called Thule. It's not really a town. It's a military base. Probably some atomic shit. But when you see it as a kid you think that it's a magical town since it has the same name as the town in the Prince Valiant Cartoon. Thule.

What is Greenland like?

There's these streams in the ocean.
Some of them are warm and some of them are cold.
On the western side you have a warm stream.
On the eastern side you have a cold stream.

What is Greenland like?

They really drink a lot.

What is Greenland like?

I don't know. I've never been there. It isn't very green though. That's why they named it that. It's like a plateau or something.

What is Greenland like?

They used to go whaling in Greenland.
People did. Like
100 years ago.

What is Greenland like?

Very green.
And very cold.

What is Greenland like?

I dunno.
I've never been there.